Sunday, October 30, 2005
and i thought yee's was cold....
OH MY BLOODY FREEZING GIDDY AUNT!!!the operative being freezing..with no offence meant to any aunts of mine..giddy or otherwise who might've cough*snooped*cough, ahem i mean stumbled upon this site...freezing a ginormous understatement to what my toes are currently doing...more like developing frostbite and getting ready to fall off...and i cant even grow new ones...damn...stupid 2 degree weather..its as if god threw me here on a whim jusz to see me suffer in the cold and eventually wither and die...alone..in the rain...with my shoes soaked...there isnt gonna be a bigger sign from the heavens than that..i can tell you now...come to think of it..my fingers aren't exactly having a blast either...Woolen socks..HAH!! thats no match for the icy bitter biting wind bent on amputating my lower extremities...those people at the winter clothing store should be whacked with a suitcase...literally..remind me people..im gonna do that the next time im back in malaysia..thump that irritating green haired lump rite on her "relly..its warm..its so warm..u might not even need it..canada only,mah...." head...i might not even need it??i'll tell you what i dont need...i dont need prosthetic toes...unfortunately i dont think im gonna have much of a choice come spring...warm enough...thats the last time i listen to the people at the winter wear shops...EVER!!...EVER!!...now on to less depressing and maniacal news...it halloween tomorrow...not going trick-or-treating cos i am old...yes..also cos i wailed...BUT WHAT WILL I WEAR??? to which my mom answered with a *TISSSHHH* and ordered me to stay home handing out candy to grubby lil kids whose poor nearsighted parents dress up to look like cute lil hobgoblins and such but the effect is quite the opposite of what is desired...lil red nosed grabby handed demons..yelling in peoples faces and demanding candy...but they wont get it from me that easy...NO WAY NO HOW...for i am the be all and end all supreme ruler of the universe and all its obscure contents...and also part time..CANDY MASTER...bask in my glow..be nice to me..and gimme gummy bears...for i control the key to your dental doom...i am the oracle of your obesity...i own the key to the gilded gates of heart attack heaven...BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!doesnt sound to nice now does it...u lil whatever ur supposed to be...
here..have a granola bar.....NEEEEXXXTTT...
the fairytaler at 10:30 PM
Thursday, October 27, 2005
living in a closet...
yes..thats where i'll live out the remainder of my sadly wasted life...in a stinky closet which was previously home to a bunch of moth eaten coats and stupid nonfunctional mothballs...but on a less morbid note...we went house hunting today...yes we did..we did ..we did...okie..i noe im repeating myself like a broken mojo jojo...its jusz that i've been sooo bored lately..smart ass that i am..i packed off all my precious books on the container..thinking that i'd be more than occupied watching grass grow..how gravely mistakrn i was...i now sit here rotting in my misery and boredom..watching grass grow and waving back at the extremely friendly flies who seem to think i want to be friends...such is the tragedy of my existence..i cant even eat to fill the time..i cant afford to..im morbidly obese as it is..hole in the ground obese but soon to be borderline tsunami obese..(for full obesity level information..seek out valoi vey...i am one bitter old coot...
gimme my alice in wonderland and a big bar of chocolate...please....i need help...
the fairytaler at 10:40 PM
Monday, October 24, 2005
final....not quite yet...
i'm here....yup...im here...i dont think that the reality of this has completely sunk in yet because instead of wigging out..im...well...NOT...which is weird beacuse evrytime something a little less ordinary happens im the first one to go all chicken licken..." the sky is falling...the sky is falling"....on the way back from the airport today, i saw people walking past going on with their lives quite like what we might see in movies and such...and thats just what it felt like...all this is a movie and im jusz watching it..im not even in it at all...am i in denial??dont roll ur eyes,u evil bunch of sarcastic eye-rollers...honestly..cant one express herself without being subjected to funky eye contortions...??in a nutshell,its like standing on the outside looking in...and to be completely honest,im ,for now at least, not very thrilled with what i see...and oh yea..pong..i couldnt get the thingy u sent cos my neighbours decided to go send their smuggled rambutans to thailand yesterday...but fret not,oh directionally challenged one..for my loyal cousin..(yea val..the big one)has offered his retrieval services...pictures will be up in about a week or so...when we really get settled...dont even know if anyone bothers reading this but anyway it lets me vent without having to resort to more violent measures...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!the fairytaler at 6:05 PM
Sunday, October 16, 2005
the bestest best best of the bestest best...
yup...that is how i inarticulately describe my friends...but truly they r the bestest best best of the bestest best...dont believe me??- buying me the xxl jingga tee i have been dropping dead left right and centre for...
- ever so "thoughtfully" writing me a 50 mile long letter to read on the plane when im bored out of my wits..
- writing me a thankfully fictional autobiography..complete with giraffes, roti canai, currypuffs and pulau ketam
- being hysterical for me...
- telling me to stop being hysterical when really..they're worse than i am..
- stealing my page in the book of life andmaking the entire class and all the teachers sign my page in it and claiming all the glory for themselves
- supporting my claims of being able to be unconcious anytime i want..
- poking me awake when i sleep during geography
- poking me even when im clearly awake and yelling at em to cut it out
- singing "i've got a lovely bunch of coconuts" on top of their lungs...and honestly any other song,rhyme or jingle that comes to mind...
- terrorizing teachers...poor..poor meter man...crying in the bathroom with speedy holding his hand..
- scourge of the flyer folk..ne'er let one pass u by without fisrt scaring the living daylights outta him or her..
- always..always supportive of harebrained schemes and half baked plots of world domination...
- accent buddies...1932..ve r ze nazis...and all that jazz..
i could go on and on...but would it help deflate your already uncontrollably ballooning egos??nope...i thought as much...so this is it..bottom line..im gonna miss all of y'all to the ends of the earth and back...uhuh...and no pong...u cannot ever use be all and end all's hysterical crying fit as a way to go out ever again..beware pong..for you have been warned...
the fairytaler at 12:49 AM
Saturday, October 08, 2005
my oh my..
i am here once again..wondering why is it in the first place that i own a blog..actually 2...i've been pondering this ever since i set up the first one... whenever i come to a dead end, i usually erase evrything and start all over..its the same in everything i do..from math..to blogs..and now i cant help wondering whether i have the same attitude when dealing with people...am i honestly that callous and merciless in my relationships with others??val asks me this one question time and time again..." omg, why on earth did you even bother signing up for prs in the first place??" usually thats followed by a disappointed head shake or a more agressive retort of " take your ugly self and put it outside"...yes,my friends are the bee's knees when it comes to being friendly...they're so friendly they'd probably shoot you on sight...and when they realise you're not a convicted felon...they'll probably blame you for dressing up like one..or alternately..they could also blame you for impersonating a moose when it is clearly moose hunting season...uhuh..all this under sri amans one decrepit little roof...you poor..poor meese...my nonexistent heart bleeds for you...
guess what? my phys ed teacher think that im morbidly obese...yup...and as a treat..she was gonna let me be the first person to bless the new *ahemhandmedownahem* gym with my bodily produced version of holy water...ergo..sweat and toil on either the rickety bike that threatens to fall apart at the mere hint of being touched or the trampoline which which was used by methuselah when he was but a wee lad...
such an honour...and all for lil ol me..
shush..be still my beating heart...
the fairytaler at 9:00 AM