Wednesday, December 28, 2005
im baaaacckkk....and still freezing...what else is new??
yes..yes..my adoring public..it is true..those rumours your bearded auntie hissed into ur wax clogged ears..they are very much god's gospel truth...I AM BACK!!!yay me!okie..self adoration aside...well..maybe not completely aside..but more like a lil off centre for now...how r y'all?? i have been so out of it ...tell me everything..the whos..whys..whats..wheres..and so on and so forth...while waiting for your im-a-fren-so-i-have-to-tell-her-anyway obligatory replies..i shall fill y'all in on the deliriously sad assed details of my its-so-dull-your-toes-will-fall-off life...
1. we moved way from the funny farm...(actually its jusz a blueberry and raspberry farm..but the antics of its loony occupants suggest otherwise..) u there..in your seat..do the wave..u noe u want to...okie fine..even if u dont..anything the supreme be all and end all says could most proably be a proclamation and as such disobeying a proclamation is usually punishable by having ur icecream drip onto ur shoes for the rest of your life..bahahahahahahahaha ha. for u see..lil mortals..i have the upper hand..either u dont eat icecream forever..or u dont wear pretty shoes forever...then thers always jusz doing a simple devotional wave to commemorate my liberty from the funny farm...ur choice..
2. we moved into our own hse..and guess what? ican actually see cars from this one...wheeeeeeee....joy and rapture..shafts of heavenly light beaming down upon this blessed abode..okiela..its not that fantastic..but honestly if u've been trapped on a farm with crazy depressed famine inducing nuts for one month...even that masjid india place would seem like paradise...(well..actually..maybe not)
3. i have 3 frens so far...my power drill...(yes..i am capable of power tooling...the suprembeallandendall has acquired a new skill..with which i am one step closer to world domination...watch out mortals...btw..can we please have a convention of the wrc** sometime soon..??have to discuss wrold domination and mortal traffic control policies..besides that..i also noe the flippy scottish lady who lives on the 4th floor and her adorable mutt named maxwell...the scottish lady is about a gabillion years old and looks like a prune...not exagerrating this time...okie..so shes not purple..but otherwise..pruny she is...she walks maxwell everyday and insists on getting into the elevator even when its clearly going to the basemnt jusz so that she can get to the 4th floor..she also has a tendency of sticking her elbows out jusz when the elevator door is about to shut..i think she has some issues with her elbows and would like to discard them and this is the only logical way for her to do so...barmy soul..maxwell..is this lil feather duster of a dog..completely lovable...but behind that angelic floppy haired facade lies and evil lil attention seeking demon..who absolutely wont budge when theres other people around...he has to be petted by everyone before he even makes a feeble attempt to be angelic again...he jusz doesnt move...not even when the barmy scottish lady yells her lungs out with such gusto that im actually afraid that her lungs will do jusz that...and so the conclusion is..maxwell is YYYEEEEEVVVIIILL...but that doesnt stop him from being my fren..what fun is it to talk to a power drill anyway??theyre awfully arrogant...
no u shut up..no u shut up...no u first..no u first...
the fairytaler at 1:05 PM
Thursday, December 08, 2005
siblings...do what you will..theyre still gonna be there...
in this riveting episode...pong...i shall try to answer your burning question...uh hem..uh hem..uh hem...according to the beallandendallsupremeruleroftheuniverse dictionary the word.."sibling" connotes a person or people of devious character and evil intentions...this is especially true if theyre younger than you are..that means that they're bent on driving you up the wall and into a tree somewhere on a highway near batu pahat...yup..yup...as such..the first line of defence would be to pointedl;y ignore them..as in...
sticking your fingers into your..(hopefully clean) ears and screaming LALALALALALALA or NEENERNEENERWEENER.. at the top of your lungs followed by a spirited I CANT HEAR YOUUUUUUUUU....this is usually best accompanied by tightly shut eyes...yup..yup..tis late now..so i hope this preliminary attack measure serves your purpose..more to come soon...sister currently tugging at my hair...
commence screamy sequence...YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh
the fairytaler at 11:50 PM
Thursday, December 01, 2005
and he never even got to see christmas...
tedo died...yup..the cutesy adorable german sheperd who was the only sane soul in the entire household...he turned out to be not so sane after all...he, in an obviously failed attempt to cross the freeway,stood very stupidly in a car's way...so splat goes the doggie...cruella aren't i??but in a nutshell..thats how he died...the whole family cried and cried and cried..and owh yea..cried...when they weren't crying they we planning on crying..u could jusz see it...hmm...i havent cried for over 10 minutes now..maybe its time for another wailing teary episode...and so a-wailing they went...wail..wail..wail...and their last words to the dog..."told u u shouldnt have crossed the street"...yea..if im on my deathbed..the nicest thing one could ever say to me is.."told ya so..."...uhuh...im loving them already...in other news...let it snow..let it snow..let it snow...its snowing..yay!! iloooooovvvvvvvvvvvveeee snow..make s for great snowball fights..its also easier to make cold compresses..for people like me who are obviously a lil retarded when it comes to avoiding swinging car doors...the other day..i opened the dorr into my face...yea..im a genius...can i get a hallelujah??no? k ...fine ...heathens...wanna hear more fun facts...?yes?...no?? well..i dont give a rat's ass what u think...read on...i feel like being bratty today and there's nothing u can do about it...BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA...they got a new dog...i think he's a lab mix...he's completely black and is loud..this free-spirited quadraped has a powerful set of lungs..actually i think they're actually subwoofers...he hates being in captivity ...ironic aint it??pet dog abhors captivity...little lunatic wails at the very top of his lungs when placed in a cage...otherwise he leaves u stinky little tokens of gratitude all over the house...i think he's secretly YYYEEEVVVIIILLL...but evryone thinks im insane...as usual...dont come crying to me when he tries to dominate the world....p.s. the lil adorable wanna-be bagpipe's name is simba..well actually it was reeray, then simba...then teddy..then himmat..then simba again..(undecided turkeys..the lot of em..)
the fairytaler at 4:13 PM